Nothing has brought the significance of human nomenclature more into the forefront than the phenomenon of Globalization. After becoming aware of the fact that western vocal chords will refuse to process the complex analog signals embedded within the likes of Krishnamurthy, Ranganathan & Jeetendra Chaturvedi, the outsourced oufits imported the anglicized names in order to boost the exports. Krishnamurthy and Ranganathan metamorphosi-zed into Kris and Randy, while Jeetendra Chaturvedi simply initialized into JC. Here is a brief name-centric phone conversation between Subramaniam and me.
Subramaniam : Hi ! This is Sam. Can I talk to Mr. Satnam Doad.
Me : Satnam is not here. Can I take a message?
Subramaniam : May I know who I am talking to?
Me : Yes, This is Robert de Niro.
Subramaniam : Mr. Niro, are you the decision maker in this house?
Me : No, I am a happily married man !!!!! Hello….Hello…Hello…I can’t hear you Sam….where are you?
Getting back to the main issue, let’s look at the brief history of Punjabi nomenclature. Having stood in the way of every armed invasion which came from the north-west, Punjabi nomenclature began with infusion of bravery and tones of military brass band. We had Sher Singh (literally Lion Lion), Shamsher Singh (Who can shame even a Lion), Jhujhar Singh (Don’t mess with this guy), Gajjan Singh (Thundering Lion) and Karnail Singh & Jarnail Singh (Ranking members of the military who directly went from the womb to the war). Southern Indian nomenclature might have been also forced to add a wild animal character to their nomenclature, if the genocidal armada of Christopher Columbus had found the real India. Tamil Tigers of Sri Lanka have been rolling out this strategy on a group level basis.
A relatively calm period of the history perhaps softened the Punjabi lexicon but definitely not their intent. This era brought us Baljeet (Victory by force), Jagjeet (Victor of the universe), Inderjeet (Victor over the Gods), Sharanjeet (Take his protection and victory guaranteed), Ajeet (No victory possible against this one) and Paramjeet (Winner takes all). Having a vested interest in linguistic connections, I searched for evolution of Daler Singh (Lion with a big heart). Now, to be clear, the “Big Heart” here is big, strictly in the sense of physical courage. Writing a million dollar check to the Green Peace won’t portray you as Daler in Punjab, but saving Hema Malini, Zeenat Aman and their comely “Saheliyan” from “The Burning Train” definitely will. In fact, if you write a million dollar check to the Green Peace, some might call you a Kammla Singh (Lion who went nuts). Daler perhaps has its twisted linguistic roots in spanish “Dolor” (pain). Many Daler Singhs have been known to be a constant ‘dolor’ in the ‘you know what’ of governments of India and Pakistan.
When our old ways were touched by the sprawling urbanization, we got out of the military bases with Gurjeet Singh (Victor of character), Surjeet Singh (Victor of melody) and Manmohan Singh (The gracious mover of hearts – No wonder he became the prime minister). We also had a rare but special Montek Singh. This lion is a product of English “Money” and Punjabi “-tek” (support). Obviously, he was destined for a roar in the finance and planning ministry.
And then came the time when Punjabis made love and not war. And did they put some “Preet” (love) into their act. This era gave us Kulpreet (Love of the whole clan), Jaspreet (Glorious love child), Jagpreet (Love of the entire universe), Amarpreet (Product of undying love) and an occasional Samarpreet (product of hot summer afternoon love – pioneered in the countryside, exported immediately to the nearest city). And let’s not forget the loveliest of all the love children – PREETI. Preet Singh and Preet Kaur made Pritam.
A prolonged absence of any major turbulence in the Punjabi society has led to further mellowing of nomenclature. The image of a hard drinking, jovial and friendly Punjabi becomes even friendlier when you meet Harmeet (everyone’s friend), Manmeet (A hearty friend) and my good friend Gurmeet (A Friend with good character – He knows all the sweet spots in town). The lion seems to have been tamed quite a bit though. Punjabi males are beginning to omit “Singh” from their names altogether. The pressure to get in touch with the feminine side is so great that even Daler has added Mehndi (Henna) to his name. Though from what I see in the news reports, Daler Mehndi has caused some serious “dolor” to the immigration sleuths.
And one important aspect of Punjabi nomenclature is religion, which brings the issue closer to home. My brother and I were named with words picked in sequence from holy book of Sikhs. My elder brother Onkar comes from the starting words in the book - Ik Onkar –meaning God is One. Profound and most misunderstood (the words, not my brother. The need to understand anything about my brother is not expected to arise for a few millennia…at the least). One God…...as in indivisible One…….but Whose One? I have One. You have One. Dalai Lama is an incarnation of One. George Bush and Hillary Clinton have One too. Mitt Romney has a Mormon One. Middle easterners can’t agree on One. Communist party does not approve of One. A good friend of mine believes in Two-in-One. One God is watching all this and perhaps having fun. My name Satnam came from the next word - meaning Truth is God. But the question arises again…..Whose Truth? The fact is that very few people can hear the Real Truth over the din of My Truth and Your Truth. If you do then you will agree...perhaps there is something in the name after all.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
A season to get physical
Thanksgiving just went by, so it is time to talk turkey. Thanksgiving is the day when America intensifies its annual assault on Kingdom of Food with a proverbial “Surge”. Outside the cocky world known to homo-sapiens form of intelligentsia, the day is celebrated as “Temporary Independence day” in the bovine world and as “Thank God it is no fry-day” among Chickens. Except for a mild surprise for taste buds, the day is just another weekday in Alabama. The success of surge is well known as it continues its assault around the offices with sugar concoctions appearing mysteriously and disappearing rapidly at the coffee stations. As the assault progresses, the birthday of Christ is celebrated with a summary crucifixion of Atkins. Jenny Craig goes into hiding and Sara Lee comes out of exile. The Krispy krime wave runs unabated until New Year marks its ebb with arrival of XXXL credit card statements while we renew our annual subscription to some old resolutions. Two from an apparently popular list in a recent newspaper clip caught my eye – Get Physical exercise and Get Physical.
Get Physical !!!!!Does everyone smell the sneaky lobbying by AMA here? The physicians at AMA are real helping bunch.
Physician : A person upon whom you set your hopes when ill and set your dogs when well - Ambrose Bierce
First, the AMA hires really good lawyers to help our legislators craft a simple and straightforward health care system. And then to extract some extra bucks off the backs of middle aged hombres, they start helping us pick our New Year resolutions as well. I am sure that most of you middle-aged males at one time have sensed that not-so-faint streak of sadistic glee when your physician suggests “Physical”. They so much love seeing you in that rear-cooled paper gown that they suggest Physical even if you are in their office to get your ear wax removed. And when they do, a chill runs down your spine and terminates exactly at the point which is going to bear the brunt of the procedure….and for the physician, highlight of the report. At least, you should take solace in the fact that the section of your body, which hitherto was known to have contributed primarily to the Global Warming, could begin its lengthy atonement by making significant contributions to the livelihood of many physicians, some with overdue educational loans and mostly with alimony payments. Incidentally, it also completely explains the vehement defense of the cause by Nobel laureate Al Gore. He can prevent global warming single-cheekedly…. by blocking the sun.
My health care needs were recently reassigned by the omnipotent insurance company to a lady physician. It was hard to detect any glee in her inscrutable voice. However, she happens to be fan….a fan of Star Trek. A poster of Captain Jane of the Starfleet adorns the wall and the caption serves a notice to patients – “I will boldly go where no Human has gone before”. As Dale Carnegie suggests in his infinite wisdom – Things could have been worse. The poster could have been that of the Borg and caption could have read – Resistance is futile. You will be…...
Get physical exercise as a new year resolution is no surprise. Very popular indeed. However, during the surge time, watch out for questions disguised as statements, especially from the fairer sex. There are very few correct responses to statements such as “I think I have put on ten pounds” and she is the only one who knows them. All other responses, ranging from complete silence to “you think” are plain wrong. Ten pounds does not move me anymore anyway. Not after I have had the honor (and furniture in our house had the burden) of spending time with my elder brother. He is also known to put on ten pounds….sometimes just during the breakfast itself. There are no perfect analogies to describe his dinnertime fare but suffice to say that anomalies have been observed in earth’s gravitational field. Recently his physician suggested getting at least ten percent more exertion. He increased the distance between his bed and refrigerator by another 1.5 ft. He is mentally sharp and physically well-rounded.
And while I end my blogging to heed to the loud reminders to take out the trash and other items on the honey do-list for the weekend, I am reminded of the words from Canadian comedian Steve Smith – If Women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy….and who knows, she might decide to get physical. A happy season to all of you.
Get Physical !!!!!Does everyone smell the sneaky lobbying by AMA here? The physicians at AMA are real helping bunch.
Physician : A person upon whom you set your hopes when ill and set your dogs when well - Ambrose Bierce
First, the AMA hires really good lawyers to help our legislators craft a simple and straightforward health care system. And then to extract some extra bucks off the backs of middle aged hombres, they start helping us pick our New Year resolutions as well. I am sure that most of you middle-aged males at one time have sensed that not-so-faint streak of sadistic glee when your physician suggests “Physical”. They so much love seeing you in that rear-cooled paper gown that they suggest Physical even if you are in their office to get your ear wax removed. And when they do, a chill runs down your spine and terminates exactly at the point which is going to bear the brunt of the procedure….and for the physician, highlight of the report. At least, you should take solace in the fact that the section of your body, which hitherto was known to have contributed primarily to the Global Warming, could begin its lengthy atonement by making significant contributions to the livelihood of many physicians, some with overdue educational loans and mostly with alimony payments. Incidentally, it also completely explains the vehement defense of the cause by Nobel laureate Al Gore. He can prevent global warming single-cheekedly…. by blocking the sun.
My health care needs were recently reassigned by the omnipotent insurance company to a lady physician. It was hard to detect any glee in her inscrutable voice. However, she happens to be fan….a fan of Star Trek. A poster of Captain Jane of the Starfleet adorns the wall and the caption serves a notice to patients – “I will boldly go where no Human has gone before”. As Dale Carnegie suggests in his infinite wisdom – Things could have been worse. The poster could have been that of the Borg and caption could have read – Resistance is futile. You will be…...
Get physical exercise as a new year resolution is no surprise. Very popular indeed. However, during the surge time, watch out for questions disguised as statements, especially from the fairer sex. There are very few correct responses to statements such as “I think I have put on ten pounds” and she is the only one who knows them. All other responses, ranging from complete silence to “you think” are plain wrong. Ten pounds does not move me anymore anyway. Not after I have had the honor (and furniture in our house had the burden) of spending time with my elder brother. He is also known to put on ten pounds….sometimes just during the breakfast itself. There are no perfect analogies to describe his dinnertime fare but suffice to say that anomalies have been observed in earth’s gravitational field. Recently his physician suggested getting at least ten percent more exertion. He increased the distance between his bed and refrigerator by another 1.5 ft. He is mentally sharp and physically well-rounded.
And while I end my blogging to heed to the loud reminders to take out the trash and other items on the honey do-list for the weekend, I am reminded of the words from Canadian comedian Steve Smith – If Women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy….and who knows, she might decide to get physical. A happy season to all of you.
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