Reaching the Summit is optional, Getting down is mandatory - Edmund Viesturs
Our caliber (or lack thereof) in physical activities have always conformed to good old Clint Eastwood axiom : A man has got to know his limitations. Only reason Edmund Viesturs appears up here because my well wishing friends, who never miss a chance to drop hints, presented me with this book called "English Writing for Dummies". As the book tells dummies, and I quote, "Open with a quote, and end with a Quote". Strange thing is that all three copies of book I have received say the same thing.....what a co-incidence !
It was that time of the year again. Time, when some of us let the members of fairer gender know, "I am doing this to raise money for Breast Cancer Research.......and when it comes to shopping, I still BEG to differ".
Begging : An art, which dogs and men have been trying to perfect since Adam asked Eve out.
This year, our team had picked beautiful Mt. Adams on the southern end of Washington, as our symbolic fight in the Climb to Fight Breast Cancer. It was also going to a sort of re-union of the old Mt. Olympus crew.......Your Honor Marybeth Dingledy, David "mangler" Kendall, Jeff Hazeltine, Steve Bley & and last but not the least, soon to be domesticated animal Chris Awad, who after benefiting from our valuable advice on various methodologies on "How to Propose" in previous years, was now planning on some continuing education in the area of animal husband(ry).....A high altitude Bachelor Party !
We were also joined by Chris, Chris and Kris. Yes, there were four people with acoustically indistinguishable nomenclature on this climb. For Chris' sake, why can't parents name their kids something unique....like Satnam. And one of these, Kris, happened to be very charming intellectual Kristina. What is this american obsession with shortening perfect names?
No Smooth Sailing this year !....
There were signs that it is not going to be smooth sailing this year. First, I tore my soleus and calf muscles (bending down and reaching for that dropped glazed doughnut is not a good idea at this age) which severely abbreviated my training routine. And then, the flight to Seattle was marked with a four hour delay, two of which were spent inside the plane sitting on the tarmac. Steve was kind enough to come around again for pick up. Chris Awad and I have been beginning to be known as Steve's annual friends. One friend who looks a like a terrorist, and the other who talks like one. Mrs. Bley makes great food, as always, and we have been known to attack food and wine supply lines with some Italian+Indian gusto.
Drive to Trout Lake....
Trout lake is a small place, where we had decided to spend the night before the climb. Drive from Seattle is scenic I-5, as always and it turns even more scenic as one turns on hwy. 84 along the Columbia river, which divides Washington from Oregon. The Oregon side of the drive is lined with many waterfalls. I highly recommend stopping, even if for a few minutes at Multnomah Falls. And Hood river, OR is where the team got together for some usual pre-climb libations at a place called Everybody's Brewing. Libations continued well into the night at Trout Lake inn.
Did I say, there was to be no smooth sailing!....
After a latish start to gear check and the nearby ranger's station, we were told by the guides (Mark, Sondra & Cliff) that trail head to our chosen route (glacier route as opposed to much trampled south spur route) is good 45 minutes drive on a reservation. After negotiating the dusty road for about 45 minutes, suddenly the caravan stopped. One of the guides in leading car came out and informed us that we have to turn around and we are on the wrong road for 45 minutes.....another sign that there was to be no smooth sailing this year!
He claimed that Guides are pretty solid on finding directions on the mountain but their record is mixed on the roads. I am sure that this timely interruption was perhaps brought around by the Lady guide Sondra. As you know, we have all been there.....Man driving the vehicle, misses the right exit and ends up in a different State or Canada.....and a woman sitting next to him with a frown of the size of minor moons of Jupiter.
Finally we reached the correct trail head, put on backpacks and were on our way. Initial part of the trail passes through a forest, which got burned in a forest fire recently.....nature's fury. We were chugging along but due to late start, things were not looking well. Guides decided that pace is a little below par and decided to take a direct short-cut by whacking our way through the short brush. We followed and some two hours later, ended up in a large gulch, with snow on the base, but lined with over 20 ft. of almost straight scree on both sides. Apparently, this gulch is usually snow-filled to the brim and crossing it is a child's play but not that day........another sign that there was to be no smooth sailing this year! After finding a part of the scree, which seemed negotiable on one side without rope and with rope on the other side, everyone crossed over and we made to the base camp by almost seven.
We are Pro-Choice but....
As we found the place to set up the tents, there arose a Choice issue. I will go on the record here to let women know that I have always been, and always will be a Pro-Choice person. With all the tents being three person tents, Kristina, the charming intellectual, had to make a choice...who to tent with. Chris Awad & I or other Chris & Chris. She chose latter and we sought from Kristina, what in corporate lingo is called, self-improvement feedback. Apparently, the underlying reason for her choice was an information of un-sound quality, she had received in Seattle....our reputation for flatulence ! I will admit that Chris and I have a certain predilection for excessive off-color mirth, but flatulence?.....a cathartic Joy, which God in his medical wisdom, distributed equally to both genders, but empowered only one to admit to exercising the blessing with regularity.
Ladies, I will go on the record here once again. If you are looking for a flatulence-less man, then your only option is to pray hard for significant advances in Genetic Engineering. Short of that, all other temporary options you have, involve use of a wine bottle cork.....& I will not delve into that subject for it opens a whole new passageway to a new chapter of off-color mirth.
Kristina's choice meant that our good friend Steve Bley was tenting with us and with three amigos, it meant un-restricted flatulence complemented by a complete linguistic liberty. As the forefathers said through US constitution : All men..........in pursuit of flatulence, liberty and resulting happiness.
It was a wind-wind situation...
Flatulence inside aside, night wind outside was also howling and fluttering sound of tent fly was really loud but we got some sleep. In the morning, when guides came to wake us up, we noticed that all our sleeping bags and other stuff were covered with thin layer of dirt. And that is when we asked each other with gentlemanly politeness :
" Who the &%$# went out to take a #$%^&* leak last night and forgot to zip up the #$%^&* side? What the &%$# ? "
And a check revealed that everything was in order. Nothing wrong with side zip. The fine dust, which happened to be in the air, apparently was getting through the vents of tent. Which explained why the food was tasting pretty gritty !
After breakfast, Snow school was in first item of order on second day. Guides believed that instead of preparing you for self-arrest, better to train you so that you never get to self-arrest situation. Snow school was a lot more elaborate than anything I have done in the past and I personally thought it was pretty good. After snow school, rope teams were divided, and we geared up (with crampons) and in spite of weather forecast and picking winds, it was decided to give summit a shot.
A matter of Degree...
Somewhat gentle slope turned soon into a relent-less 40 degree slope, and the real climb was on. It didn't matter how much distance we covered, every time I looked up, the destination seemed to be at the same distance as before. And we were looking up pretty often because every now and then a loose rock will come hurling down the slope. Safety rule for loose rock hurling down is to stop and watch. Most of the time it will be on a different trajectory, like an adjacent railway line, but every now and then we found ourselves on the same track as the train is. Guess what, we had to move.
As we got higher, wind picked up and even though it was manageable, but every now and then a wind gust of 40+ miles/hours would come through. And many a times it brought lot frozen moisture with hitting like little stones. We hunkered down with ice axes dug in. Guides started worrying about the situation as it was beginning to get unsafe and could get worse at higher altitudes. We were still a good 1500 ft. below the summit, when we decided to call it off and return to base camp.
Due to lose rock situation, turning back is not so simple as no one is watching the falling rock. So belay device was put on we were lowered down backwards about 400 ft. before it was decided to climb down normally. During the climb down, a hurling down loose rock came too close for comfort twice. One of them, which seemingly came out of nowhere as it came diagonally was big and spine-shattering scary.
Looking forward to a drink.....
Once outside the danger zone, we stopped by to take some pictures and Your Honor told me that she is looking forward to be at base camp and have a drink. She had packed some Bourbon with her. And I, ever the gentleman, told her and she doesn't have to wait till the base camp. I was carrying my stock of Scotch in my back pack for I had planned an intoxicating celebration for the summit !
Now I don't want to say that people of this team were carrying a lot of alcohol but I think there was enough for a small Bachelor party. Here is the synopsis
Person #1 : Bourbon
Person #2 : Scotch (Johnie Walker double black)
Person #3 : Bourbon (High end brand)
Person #4 : Single malt Scotch
Person #5 : Bourbon
Person #6 : God bless this guy because not often, someone carries a six pack of Beer
What happened to the Animal Husband(ry).....
I can let all the gory details out but this is a respectable blog, which is meant to be read aloud to young children of impressionable minds, distinguished guests and lady friends on Friday evenings. Let me just say that consumption of alcohol was accompanied by a very nice looking blow up Sheep..........I am sure you get the idea.
And in the end......a quote....
On last day, we all got down the mountain to a much needed shower and then began our personal wine and beer fest in Hood River, OR. Strange stories from the past and laughter rising from the bottom of the soul.
On the day of judgment, this blog will be used against me to justify what has already been decided and just waiting to be pronounced. I hope that some leniency will be exercised on the grounds that I am personally documenting the truthful evidence ! Here is A link to the Climb Pictures
There are a few reasons why we do this. Primary reason is that we want to raise money for breast cancer research. Second reason is that we want to spend time climbing a mountain with people, whose company we really enjoy. And after that, if we can reach the summit some times, then that is good too. - Steve Bley
Our caliber (or lack thereof) in physical activities have always conformed to good old Clint Eastwood axiom : A man has got to know his limitations. Only reason Edmund Viesturs appears up here because my well wishing friends, who never miss a chance to drop hints, presented me with this book called "English Writing for Dummies". As the book tells dummies, and I quote, "Open with a quote, and end with a Quote". Strange thing is that all three copies of book I have received say the same thing.....what a co-incidence !
It was that time of the year again. Time, when some of us let the members of fairer gender know, "I am doing this to raise money for Breast Cancer Research.......and when it comes to shopping, I still BEG to differ".
Begging : An art, which dogs and men have been trying to perfect since Adam asked Eve out.
This year, our team had picked beautiful Mt. Adams on the southern end of Washington, as our symbolic fight in the Climb to Fight Breast Cancer. It was also going to a sort of re-union of the old Mt. Olympus crew.......Your Honor Marybeth Dingledy, David "mangler" Kendall, Jeff Hazeltine, Steve Bley & and last but not the least, soon to be domesticated animal Chris Awad, who after benefiting from our valuable advice on various methodologies on "How to Propose" in previous years, was now planning on some continuing education in the area of animal husband(ry).....A high altitude Bachelor Party !
We were also joined by Chris, Chris and Kris. Yes, there were four people with acoustically indistinguishable nomenclature on this climb. For Chris' sake, why can't parents name their kids something unique....like Satnam. And one of these, Kris, happened to be very charming intellectual Kristina. What is this american obsession with shortening perfect names?
No Smooth Sailing this year !....
There were signs that it is not going to be smooth sailing this year. First, I tore my soleus and calf muscles (bending down and reaching for that dropped glazed doughnut is not a good idea at this age) which severely abbreviated my training routine. And then, the flight to Seattle was marked with a four hour delay, two of which were spent inside the plane sitting on the tarmac. Steve was kind enough to come around again for pick up. Chris Awad and I have been beginning to be known as Steve's annual friends. One friend who looks a like a terrorist, and the other who talks like one. Mrs. Bley makes great food, as always, and we have been known to attack food and wine supply lines with some Italian+Indian gusto.
Drive to Trout Lake....
Trout lake is a small place, where we had decided to spend the night before the climb. Drive from Seattle is scenic I-5, as always and it turns even more scenic as one turns on hwy. 84 along the Columbia river, which divides Washington from Oregon. The Oregon side of the drive is lined with many waterfalls. I highly recommend stopping, even if for a few minutes at Multnomah Falls. And Hood river, OR is where the team got together for some usual pre-climb libations at a place called Everybody's Brewing. Libations continued well into the night at Trout Lake inn.
Did I say, there was to be no smooth sailing!....
After a latish start to gear check and the nearby ranger's station, we were told by the guides (Mark, Sondra & Cliff) that trail head to our chosen route (glacier route as opposed to much trampled south spur route) is good 45 minutes drive on a reservation. After negotiating the dusty road for about 45 minutes, suddenly the caravan stopped. One of the guides in leading car came out and informed us that we have to turn around and we are on the wrong road for 45 minutes.....another sign that there was to be no smooth sailing this year!
He claimed that Guides are pretty solid on finding directions on the mountain but their record is mixed on the roads. I am sure that this timely interruption was perhaps brought around by the Lady guide Sondra. As you know, we have all been there.....Man driving the vehicle, misses the right exit and ends up in a different State or Canada.....and a woman sitting next to him with a frown of the size of minor moons of Jupiter.
Finally we reached the correct trail head, put on backpacks and were on our way. Initial part of the trail passes through a forest, which got burned in a forest fire recently.....nature's fury. We were chugging along but due to late start, things were not looking well. Guides decided that pace is a little below par and decided to take a direct short-cut by whacking our way through the short brush. We followed and some two hours later, ended up in a large gulch, with snow on the base, but lined with over 20 ft. of almost straight scree on both sides. Apparently, this gulch is usually snow-filled to the brim and crossing it is a child's play but not that day........another sign that there was to be no smooth sailing this year! After finding a part of the scree, which seemed negotiable on one side without rope and with rope on the other side, everyone crossed over and we made to the base camp by almost seven.
We are Pro-Choice but....
As we found the place to set up the tents, there arose a Choice issue. I will go on the record here to let women know that I have always been, and always will be a Pro-Choice person. With all the tents being three person tents, Kristina, the charming intellectual, had to make a choice...who to tent with. Chris Awad & I or other Chris & Chris. She chose latter and we sought from Kristina, what in corporate lingo is called, self-improvement feedback. Apparently, the underlying reason for her choice was an information of un-sound quality, she had received in Seattle....our reputation for flatulence ! I will admit that Chris and I have a certain predilection for excessive off-color mirth, but flatulence?.....a cathartic Joy, which God in his medical wisdom, distributed equally to both genders, but empowered only one to admit to exercising the blessing with regularity.
Ladies, I will go on the record here once again. If you are looking for a flatulence-less man, then your only option is to pray hard for significant advances in Genetic Engineering. Short of that, all other temporary options you have, involve use of a wine bottle cork.....& I will not delve into that subject for it opens a whole new passageway to a new chapter of off-color mirth.
Kristina's choice meant that our good friend Steve Bley was tenting with us and with three amigos, it meant un-restricted flatulence complemented by a complete linguistic liberty. As the forefathers said through US constitution : All men..........in pursuit of flatulence, liberty and resulting happiness.
It was a wind-wind situation...
Flatulence inside aside, night wind outside was also howling and fluttering sound of tent fly was really loud but we got some sleep. In the morning, when guides came to wake us up, we noticed that all our sleeping bags and other stuff were covered with thin layer of dirt. And that is when we asked each other with gentlemanly politeness :
" Who the &%$# went out to take a #$%^&* leak last night and forgot to zip up the #$%^&* side? What the &%$# ? "
And a check revealed that everything was in order. Nothing wrong with side zip. The fine dust, which happened to be in the air, apparently was getting through the vents of tent. Which explained why the food was tasting pretty gritty !
After breakfast, Snow school was in first item of order on second day. Guides believed that instead of preparing you for self-arrest, better to train you so that you never get to self-arrest situation. Snow school was a lot more elaborate than anything I have done in the past and I personally thought it was pretty good. After snow school, rope teams were divided, and we geared up (with crampons) and in spite of weather forecast and picking winds, it was decided to give summit a shot.
A matter of Degree...
Somewhat gentle slope turned soon into a relent-less 40 degree slope, and the real climb was on. It didn't matter how much distance we covered, every time I looked up, the destination seemed to be at the same distance as before. And we were looking up pretty often because every now and then a loose rock will come hurling down the slope. Safety rule for loose rock hurling down is to stop and watch. Most of the time it will be on a different trajectory, like an adjacent railway line, but every now and then we found ourselves on the same track as the train is. Guess what, we had to move.
As we got higher, wind picked up and even though it was manageable, but every now and then a wind gust of 40+ miles/hours would come through. And many a times it brought lot frozen moisture with hitting like little stones. We hunkered down with ice axes dug in. Guides started worrying about the situation as it was beginning to get unsafe and could get worse at higher altitudes. We were still a good 1500 ft. below the summit, when we decided to call it off and return to base camp.
Due to lose rock situation, turning back is not so simple as no one is watching the falling rock. So belay device was put on we were lowered down backwards about 400 ft. before it was decided to climb down normally. During the climb down, a hurling down loose rock came too close for comfort twice. One of them, which seemingly came out of nowhere as it came diagonally was big and spine-shattering scary.
Looking forward to a drink.....
Once outside the danger zone, we stopped by to take some pictures and Your Honor told me that she is looking forward to be at base camp and have a drink. She had packed some Bourbon with her. And I, ever the gentleman, told her and she doesn't have to wait till the base camp. I was carrying my stock of Scotch in my back pack for I had planned an intoxicating celebration for the summit !
Now I don't want to say that people of this team were carrying a lot of alcohol but I think there was enough for a small Bachelor party. Here is the synopsis
Person #1 : Bourbon
Person #2 : Scotch (Johnie Walker double black)
Person #3 : Bourbon (High end brand)
Person #4 : Single malt Scotch
Person #5 : Bourbon
Person #6 : God bless this guy because not often, someone carries a six pack of Beer
What happened to the Animal Husband(ry).....
I can let all the gory details out but this is a respectable blog, which is meant to be read aloud to young children of impressionable minds, distinguished guests and lady friends on Friday evenings. Let me just say that consumption of alcohol was accompanied by a very nice looking blow up Sheep..........I am sure you get the idea.
And in the end......a quote....
On last day, we all got down the mountain to a much needed shower and then began our personal wine and beer fest in Hood River, OR. Strange stories from the past and laughter rising from the bottom of the soul.
On the day of judgment, this blog will be used against me to justify what has already been decided and just waiting to be pronounced. I hope that some leniency will be exercised on the grounds that I am personally documenting the truthful evidence ! Here is A link to the Climb Pictures
There are a few reasons why we do this. Primary reason is that we want to raise money for breast cancer research. Second reason is that we want to spend time climbing a mountain with people, whose company we really enjoy. And after that, if we can reach the summit some times, then that is good too. - Steve Bley
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