Slowing Train of Thoughts

I am not aware of any divine decree that Christmas morning should be any different from a weekend morning. I contended so dreamily when I felt quilt being pulled. Retracting into fetal position, I opened my eyes half-way to find my wife, who had just finished her Pilates and Yoga routine, staring at me….with that look. I had seen this look before. It is the look of a traffic court judge who is waiting for defendant’s opening statement. I reached for my intellectual reserve of statements. Drawing a few blanks, I thought about yelling “Jesus Christ” but it didn’t seem right to invoke Him…not this day. So I said what most Punjabi men say in this stressful situation – I think I am going to have “Mooli da Parantha” this morning. I was about to specify the side dishes to accompany this light breakfast, when she stopped me with a correctional order - First thing you are going to have is a shower, second thing you are going to do is…..and third……and tenth……do you understand? Imagine my surprise, the top ten list just conveyed to me had no resemblance to “Mooli da Parantha", not even remotely. Mooli da Parantha is a proper noun but the top ten could be mostly classified as unnecessary verbs. It must be a Merry Christmas.

With snow on the ground, life is slowing down into the holiday season and I am beginning to pay more attention to small everyday pleasures of life…..Scotch and Samosa. I am also getting in touch with my softer, sentimental, spiritual and understanding side. Inspired by an Ansel Adams calendar (a gift from work in lieu of salary raise), I take pictures of snow flakes hanging from leafless branches of an Aspen in my backyard, while trying to forgive my neighbor’s dog who jump over the fence to perform ablutions under the same tree. And I get teary eyed just watching my fellow Punjabi Sardar Dilbagh Singh put Christmas Sale (20% off) sign in front of his liquor store – Colorado Spirits! When I put warm covers on my Golf clubs to prepare them for hibernation in the basement, I hear a comment – There goes man with a handicap……I Ha Ha it. I come out of the basement with a snow shovel and I get a hero’s welcome. I am beginning to understand women.

Fairly soon, 2009 will be upon us and we will prepare to take stock of our yearly resolutions and things we did not get right in 2008. Don’t be disheartened if they bear uncanny similarity to things you did not get right in 2007, 2006 and even in prior years. There is a reason why God has allowed calendar system to flourish. A new chance every year before bundle of “things you did not get right” gets unbearably large. Spooked by ongoing recession, I am cutting down on my yearly resolutions. I inform my wife of my simple plans. I will not procrastinate anymore. I will cancel that unused Gym membership first thing in 2009. No more fits from fitness routines and that will automatically satisfy my second resolution – Save Money….pretty smart eh. She proposes taking up Yoga and even lends me her DVD of Swami Ramdev. But I am more keen on inspiring myself into Yoga by a talented pupil of Swami Ramdev – Shilpa Shetty. I have given some thought to a Scotch-free year but Sardar Dilbagh Singh quashes my resolve with his rendition of "Hungama hai kyon barpa, Thodi si jo pi li hai".

Well, be it Yoga or Bhoga – hope you will get them all right this coming year. Just don’t let anyone crucify you for demanding your most basic right – Mooli da Parantha.

Happy holidays to all of you.