Punjabi for Beginners (Fem.)

Considering that previous discourse of Punjabi was a little too male-centric, here is a linguistic endeavor of documenting words from Punjabi femina sapien….harsh words from Harsh Kaur.

Moya
Literally meaning Dead, as in Why aren’t you dead? Often reserved for eve teasers, word is commonly used as “Mar Moya”, which translates to “Die you dead man”. If your DNA-lingua is cringing at her being harsh with redundant use of the language, wait till she riles up a little bit more and introduces the three tiered redundancy for enhanced effectiveness …..Mar Moya Marjaneya !!!!.....You death deserving dead man, why don’t you just die ???

Word is also used for significant others, especially the ones who habitually mistake Friday mornings for Saturday mornings……Uth Moya, Aaj kamm te nahin jaana, sari umar sutta rahoonga…..Wake up Mr. Dead-pan, aren’t you going to go to work today? Are you going to sleep for rest of your life?

Dur Phitte muhn
What better way to curse a bad mouth than to mouth a bad curse on the bad mouth……Dur phitte muhn…..Your mouth burn (presumably in hell). Phrase is often hurled at pre-teen and teen males who are careless enough to exercise their recently acquired four-letter vocabulary within an earshot of any senior female…relative or not. If a close relative, then it is usually also accompanied by a sound thrashing.

Khasma nu Khaniye
It is a general observation that junior-ettes in Punjabi households become increasingly smart to cover up their slips while the juniors become dumber by the hour. But once in a while junior-ette slips and harsh words from Harsh Kaur Sr. come stinging…….Khasma nu Khaniye…..literally you can eat her husband….and thus cannibalizing his life-span. And at the same exact moment, somewhere in the world, a male feels a chill down his spine for apparently no reason at all.

Tun apne Pe warga
Junior progresses exponentially on the dumbness curve. In due time, he achieves an irreversible steady state and becomes immune to all the usual verbal and non-verbal attacks. And that is when the psychological weapon is launched with “Tu apne pe warga aan”…You are just like your father.

Thapri
Thapri is wooden laundry tool of an unknown origin which was used by womenfolk to beat the dirt out of the clothes. Somewhere in time, a well meaning mother discovered its alternative use….a character builder and discipline inducer in the junior males of the household. Junior slips on his language…..Thapri…..Junior disobeys grandmother….Thapri…..Junior fails his English Grammar…..Thapri, Thapri. “But Mom, you don’t even know what English grammar is”, protests junior. Mother replies, “I may not know English grammar, but I know you failed”……Thapri, Thapri, Thapri.

Thapri is beginning to go out of fashion and urban Punjabi mothers are looking for replacements in their arsenal, but its ceremonial usage continues in the form of ‘Thehar Ja, Mein tere thapri pher di aan"……Wait, I give you a thrashing with a Thapri. I am personally cognizant of effectiveness of this instrument. I know quite a few “Rural Singhs” who were otherwise written off educationally, but thanks to a regular dosage of Thapri, have now gone on to earn graduate degrees….some are even teaching English grammar.

Kuttiyaa !
Kuttiya (You dog) is the canini-cal expression and need I explain any more. Now here is the word which transcends all linguistic and cultural boundaries without losing the luster of its meaning or intent. Word is used equally by grandmothers (lovingly), mothers (admonishingly), elder sisters (overtly), younger sisters (covertly), wives (befittingly), friends (occasionally) and girlfriends (almost daily). Many years back, my mother used it to describe the general environment surrounding me and my brother. And that would immediately evoke a quizzical and somewhat painful expression on the face of our family dog Jimmy. However she would clear the situation to him in a most soothing ,”Tu nahin putt, tu nahin”….not you my son, not you.

And talking about transcendental phrases, I can smell another transcendental and particularly mal-odorous sound wave which is approaching me right now on this lazy Saturday ,”Sofey to uth te kooda chak ke bahr sutt”…..get up from the Sofa and take the trash out. Well, what can I say….Hor ji, Phir Milan ge.