Yes, we climbed Mount Olympus. It's not that my belief in Clint Eastwood school of thought (A Man has Got to Know his Limitations) has diminished any since I huffed and puffed to the top of Mount Baker, but a great many occurances in history are a direct result of mis-communication, mis-understanding and mis-estimating. Some in-deliberate and some Floridian mis-communication has led to surprise presidencies. Some wars have been won, some lost, and some elongated due to mis-communication and mis-estimation. Mis-communcation has also led to many marriages around the world, and on flip side, excessive communication has ended a few. Phenomenon of mis-something is not new. After a weekend of inebriation, a self-proclaimed biblical scholar of extremely questionable repute enlightened me by explaining a classic case of mis-communication through mis-spelling in biblical era. Apparently, scholarly research indicates that the Lord's real words, characteristically voluminous for that era, to his loyal troops were "Ye Priests, go forth, CELEBRATE and be merry". A minor lost-in-translation error and we ended up with CELIBATE priests. Now Lord could have used the colloquial english and avoided this with a simple ,"Hey Padres, Just be gay".....but as we know, Lord acts in mysterious ways.
Here is what happened in our case. Tim floated the idea (publicly) that we should sign up for the Mount Olympus climb, and a short conversation followed.
Chris : I will do it if Satnam does it.
(Real Thought : Ha Ha. I know Satnam. He won't, he is 40+. He was hurting on Baker).
Satnam : OK, I will sign up.
(Real Thought : It's too public to back out now. But it's OK, I can raise some money for a worthy cause. Maybe it will improve my credit rating with Supreme Being Life Distribution Agency).
Chris : Are you sure?
(Real Thought : Oh #$%^)
Satnam : Trust me Chris, we are going to have a great time....just like Mount Baker.
(Real Thought : #$%^, &*(>, #$%^).
And here we are...surprised. Not all of it was smooth sailing though. I for one will be the first to admit that raising money for any charitable cause is at least an order of magnitude harder than climbing a mountain. There is something about charitable giving which turns us into extreme cynics. In an age of instant gratification, even charitable giving leans towards causes with well defined visible benefits. Comparatively, Medical research is so in-tangible.
But, we are not the sort who get discouraged easily. First line of attack in fund raising war is friends and relatives. The word gets around pretty fast and e-mails go un-answered. One moves to the phone attack and they employ the defense shield aka caller ID...and one starts calling using a different phone. Sometimes, one does get through, but before even one makes one's fund-raising pitch, one is told that they are suffering from severe charitable fatigue and are already contemplating Vanaprastham. (VanaPrastham : According to scriptures, a stage of life when people renounce the material world and live off the nature. Highly recommended for people suffering from charitable fatigue). For a person, whose own repute with piety lobby has ensured his eternal damnation, I had no compunctions promising eternal salvation to many of my donors. When nothing else works, invoke the divine clause. When someone asks, if a fifty dollar donation would get them into heaven, behave like a decent religious messenger. Don't alienate your revenue source. Don't give specifics, Give Hope. "Lord's bar is high. Fifty dollars may not get you into heaven but it might get you a visitor's visa to the Jenana (ladies) section of heaven, where your wife will be...for she married you. But don't lose heart. There is still Hope".
Hope : A tenuous but uplifting trait of human existence. Engineers plot Hope on an axis obtusely oriented to the firm & pragmatic human trait; Experience. Hope is often exhibited by prom going young men and stock brokers. On happy occasions of 2nd and 3rd marriages, Hope can be seen gleefully thrashing Experience with a baseball bat.
In the end, it all came together and we were on for the Mount Olympus climb. The Hutchinson team started exchanging e-mails and we found that other members of this team had resumes with elevated lexicon of Denali, Kilimanjaro and Rainier. We fessed up that we are just trying to get past the second alphabet, Baker. After three last minute drop-outs, the final seven came together in Seattle for gear check on 7-12-11.
Three extremely accomplished outdoors-men (Jeff, David & Brent), two ordinary rookies (Chris and Satnam), one extraordinary climber, sierra club guide, a public defender & a very funny woman.....(Marybeth) and an uber-extraordinary penta-genarian (almost hexa), climber and a gentleman Steve Bley. Steve is going to be our motivation for many years to come.
We drove from Seattle to the town of Forks (an incredibly scenic drive) for the night before starting on the climb. Forks, a town made famous by its fictional "Twilight" residents: A human but ethereal beauty BELLA and face powder-marinaded vampire EDWARD. In spite of our best efforts, we couldn't find either of them, so we consumed some beer and went to bed. Oh yes, if you are ever in Forks, we highly recommend a really good and cheap "Taqueria Santa Ana", an authentic Mexican restaurant....so authentic that they do not accept credit cards or checks...a cash only business.
Day 1
After a hearty country style breakfast with our just-too-good guides (Seth, Devin and Matt, who waited at trail head), we drove to the trail head. By late morning we were on the beautiful hoh river trail to the ranger camp. This trail passes through a breathtakingly beautiful Hoh rain forest, which happens to be one of the last remaining temperate rain forest. Now, the definition of rain forest is implied in two words......Rain & Forest (lots of each). However, it seems that educational system of state of New Jersey has added the simian presence as another condition for Rain Forest. I assure you ladies and gentlemen, only simians you will find in Hoh rain forest are ones who are light on the brain cells and heavy on the backpacks.
Beauty of Hoh rain forest is beyond words. Host to a wide variety of plants and animals, one comes across large spruce trees rising 250 ft. into air and some 15-20 ft. in diameter. Moss covered trees appear like a shy debutante. Big Elk (and bear) roam free and so does tiny slugs. One can spend hours just wowed by mist rising from hoh river and puffs of clouds lining lower regions of mountains. It is said that more than 200 different shades of color GREEN exist in Hoh rain forest. Unfortunately, God awarded all the Color sense to fairer sex and we, the unfair gender, were given the ability to recognize just the basic seven. After numerous in-voluntary, torturous shopping trips and a continuing "adult" education, I am happy to report my ability to recognize two additional shades of green : Dark Green and Light Green. Someday, when my education is complete, I will be able to tell Chartreuse from Harlequin.
Evening camp was a little scotch, some cheese, bean burritos for dinner, a little reading, roasted marshmallows......and don't forget to pack your food into bear canisters for this night.
Distance covered : 9 miles, Altitude gain : Hardly any
Day 2
Exertion starts this day. We were still carrying the heavy backpacks to glacier meadows camp. Half way through, the snow cover started and it was time to take off the hiking shoes and put on our climbing shoes. There were some neat sections on this part of the hike. An avalanche chute and ladder. Made camp on the snow, Jeff the Chef made pasta, a swig of Canadian whiskey (courtesy Steve), guides explained the plan for summit day, we packed the essential for next day and hit the sack......we were only about 3500 ft. of altitude and yet appetite and sleep was beginning to be lost....
Distance covered : 8.5 miles, Altitude gained : ~3000 ft.
Day 3 (Summit Day)
After finishing a quick breakfast and plan from our accomplished guides, we started off to Mount Olympus. Weather looked great and backpacks felt so light. After first push we reached the moraine and from there, a vast blue glacier came into view. It was a beautiful sight of a 2.6 mile glacier. It was also time to rope up. Three teams of 4 , 3 and 3 and real climb was on. Guides decided to take straight route to snow dome. Steep climbs in snow, hard breathing, sweating like a newly wed bride (do they really sweat anymore?), waiting for that ten minutes of rest (Guide's call).....somehow we were trying to keep up with our accomplished (and very considerate) mates.
After about five hours, and gaining some 3000 ft., we reached the snow dome. Weather was beginning to get bad. Clouds gathering, reducing visibility and howling winds. Resting atop Snow dome, I had an inkling that we are having an adventure when Chris said to me ,"Satnam, This is worst @#$%^& idea you ever had. I will never listen to you again." (Adventure is an adventure only in retrospect. When actually in progress, adventure could be, and generally is a very trying experience).
Little did we know that howling winds will turn outright nasty. A mixture of rain and frozen droplets started coming down and rain gear was out. More snow climb, a small crevasse and we ended up on "False Summit". Apparently, Mount Olympus was only a few hundred ft. in front of us but we could not see it as visibility was extremely low. To get to it however, we must climb down a few hundred ft. first and climb up again on what I think was the steepest snow climb. And that is when a large rock, jutting out of snow came into view....the Mount Olympus. Looking at this 70 ft. of almost vertical rock, I realized what Guides meant when they had said ,"Last part of Mount Olympus is a little bit technical, but don't worry about it". Technically speaking, it is designated a class IV rock climb and there was no turning back.
Rubber met the wet rock here, so to speak. Almost every one struggled with tricky sections of this rock climb. Jeff and I, being in the last group here, stood on the lower rock ledge for over an hour trying to keep our bodies from going cold (by doing stationary jogs), and hands from going completely numb. Fortunately, we also had the opportunity to watch everyone above to see what they were doing wrong. There is hardly enough space for four people to stand atop Mount Olympus. That day, heavy clouds and rain obscured, what is apparently a gorgeous view of olympic range. A victory shot and we were on the rappel down on the other side. We roped up again now to start our descent. Descending on snow is actually a lot of fun. It is like running downhill....dig on your heels and let yourself go. Once we were down below snow dome in clear weather, we stopped to take a Team Banner shot for FHCRC.
It was a thirteen hour day and everyone was feeling the joy of an accomplishment. Just add boiled water dinner (Kathmandu Curry for me) and hit the sleeping bag. Sore body and aching joints, slumber still eluded me and sleep came in short spurts.
Distance covered (To and Fro) : 9 miles, Altitude gained (and lost) : ~4500 ft. (not counting those ups and downs).
Day 4
A late-ish breakfast (leftover Kathmandu curry for me). Uproot the tent, pack the bag and time to head back to first camp. With reduction in food, one imagines that the weight of the back-pack should go down but defying physical laws, it actually feels heavier. A weird encounter we all remember on this part of hike down was running into a taciturn woman in middle of nowhere, dressed in what didn't seem like hiking clothes, holding a large Golf umbrella. Walking back into rain forest was a welcome sight. Late afternoon, we got a large leveled group camp site this time. Weather was great, fire was lit, dirty smelly socks were put out to dry, Bourbon was shared (courtesy Jeff), weird tales from past were shared, a surgery was performed (and recorded) on David's now completely black toe, semi-dirty jokes were told, mushroom and mashed potatoes were served.....laughter came easily.
Distance covered : 8.5 miles, Altitude Lost : ~3000 ft.
Day 5
Pack up began at 7:00AM with a wake up call from a human imitating hyena. A quick breakfast and a 9 mile hike to the trailhead began. My faciitis was doing better but blisters were beginning to bother. But it was last day...just wrap them in duct tape and keep on going. By 1:00 PM, all of us were back in the parking lot. Celebratory beer and tequila. After wipe down, we headed to the nearest bar we could find to re-count some of the funny moments of this adventure.....and they became funnier after a few beers.
Mount Olympus climbing team had raised over $20K for breast cancer research at FHCRC in this effort. A great experience, for it was one hell of a great group of people. Enjoy the pictorial trip and please do not forget to donate, what you can, to my Climb to Fight Breast Cancer campaign.
Mount Olympus Climb Pictures
Friday, July 22, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
A Fast Rant
It is my hobby to often ponder upon matters beyond my control and by virtue of marriage, opportunity to indulge presents on a regular basis. However, to realize the full potential of this feeling of worthlessness, I still like to catch up on the political news by reading a few Indian dailies. Political landscape is changing. Notwithstanding his age, Mr. ND Tiwari, Hon. ex-governor of Andhra Pradesh rose up to the occasion to change the stoichiometry of political scandals and bring it at par with western standards, but his efforts have gone in vain. Corruption continues to top the parliamentary Bill board. And corruption has brought Fasts back in vogue, in particular its deadly strain: Fast unto Death. Fast unto Death until there is end to corruption. Maybe I am just wrong but isn’t it in the best interest of the country that all the uncorrupted people stay alive? And isn’t vice versa is desirable too?
Fast unto Death, a form of civil disobedience, popularized by Mahatma Gandhi, who was not its father, as many might believe. Besides records of using Fast as a protest mechanism in Ireland, the early record of Fast unto Death goes quite far back even in India. In Valmiki’s epic Ramayana, Bharata used Fast-unto-Death as a threat, trying to force Lord Rama back from exile. Lord Rama however convinced him otherwise with logic,” Look Bharata, it is only thirteen years. They will go by. It’s just like finishing graduate school + some post doctoral work”.
For so many declarations of Fast unto Death, the statistical record of its practitioners actually achieving the publicly declared end result is abysmally low. And, for a good reason. It is a well established medical fact that once you cross the “unto” part of Fast unto Death, you will not be able to declare a repeat performance. During the entire Indian freedom movement, Jatin Das was the only brave man who went to the Fast end. If his name doesn’t ring a bell, that is because history is written by ones who stay alive. For every principled Swami Nigamanand, there are many others who know how to end their multiple Fasts unto Death just at the right time with a picture of the practitioner appearing on the front page (preferably a national daily) with a blissfully un-aware young girl orange-juicing the practitioner back into the mortal, material and corrupt world. If not that, obituaries are on page five, column two.
Unhappy with Manmohan Singh’s government’s not so Fast response, Fast front is heating up with Anna Hazare and Swami Ramdev. Now, Anna Hazare is from the same general area as Mahatma Gandhi so he probably has a genetic proclivity and experience towards Fasts but Swami Ramdev! Does he really belong in the Fast league? Already, two places of decimal are needed to record his body mask index. Plus, he was teaching Yoga to the likes of Shilpa Shetty, who by herself presents an extremely compelling set of reasons for not quitting one’s day job….all Punjabi intellectuals agree. But to his credit, an undeterred Swami Ramdev declared Fast unto Death and made his stand in Delhi’s Ram-leela grounds. However, when Death did arrive, somewhat prematurely and unexpectedly, donning the uniform of Delhi Police, Swami Ramdev showed how Fast he is on his feet, and escaped by camouflaging his slender form with a feminine garment. Mystery surrounding the make-up used to camouflage Swami Ramdev’s facial hair has piqued the interest of cosmeticians around the world. Armed with a spending budget rivaling that of NASA’s Mars mission budget, multinational cosmetic spooks have launched a secret operation to uncover yogi’s secret. Operation is code named: Hairy Rama, Hairy Krishna. Btw, it is common knowledge that on his Asian collection tour, grim reaper shuns his traditional cloak and scythe for standard local police and military issue.
Are Fasts really effective in this regard? And that question must be answered using scientific inquiry. Fortunately we are in luck here, for there happens to be a large population data available when it comes to selfless Fasts. Indian women have been Fasting regularly for over a millennium for a seemingly unselfish reason: Asking God to prolong the life span of their respective (one hopes!) spouses. And using the data from last census, the probability of a married man outliving his spouse can be calculated at 9.7%. Some of you may react….That is it? Over a millennium of Fast to prolong the married male’s life span and that is it? I say, let’s not be so Fast in rushing to the conclusion here. The result seems to be a statistical anomaly and it must be explained through….you guessed it….scientific inquiry. And I turn my inquiry to the nearest person with intimate knowledge of this matter: my wife. Her explanation starts with standard opening line.
“You are wrong. A millennium of Fasts is the reason why probability has risen to 9.7%. In absence of a Fasting wife, some of you would be dropping by the time last Phera is finished”.
Phera: A ritualistic circuitous route taken to solemnize marriage during Hindu and Sikh marital ceremonies. It is meant as a subtle but ample warning to a very blessed would-be-couple about the nature of marital life, where all arguments, conversations and even the entertainment will make them feel as if they are going around in circles. Warning is issued seven times during Hindu ceremony. Sikhs see no point after fourth.
My tech savvy nephew Wellwired Singh suggests that these Fasts are actually effective but married males are voluntarily choosing to forego the available, Fast-secured longevity benefits. I had a feeling that he was going to expound further on this particular line of perplexing reasoning but he decided to change the subject….coinciding with his wife Harsh Kaur’s entry into the room.
I say we take a cue from an extremely patient effort by fairer sex and try a periodic national Fast on corruption. For simplicity, we call it C-Fast day. I further suggest that date of this day be kept deliberately fluid and be declared very close to the final round of a major cricket tournament, where home team is in the finals, to opportunistically take advantage of nationalistic fervor. This C-Fast day, everyone does things the right way. You get a traffic ticket, you will not bribe. Instead, you will go to the court as the law requires. If you do offer a bribe, the temporarily uncorrupt cop will refuse to take it citing C-Fast day obligations. C-Fast could also turn into day of complements. A C-Fasting Suresh Kalmadi will walk into a meeting and people will say,” wow, Suresh. You look so different. Have you been losing weight (of those undeclared assets)”? And parliament will be at its most efficient on C-Fast day. The after effects of C-Fast however could be hard to take. While some of you might find this Fast outright exhilrating and uplifting, others might want to go back to the greasy ways,” My palm has been itching whole day. I wish someone would grease it today”. I propose that we start this C-Fast annually and increase the frequency based on democratic response. Our goal: 9.7% improvement by year 3000.
All this Fast talk is making me really hungry. As I ask my wife,” So what is cooking today”? She tells me,” Cook yourself. Can’t you see I am fasting for you”?
Fast unto Death, a form of civil disobedience, popularized by Mahatma Gandhi, who was not its father, as many might believe. Besides records of using Fast as a protest mechanism in Ireland, the early record of Fast unto Death goes quite far back even in India. In Valmiki’s epic Ramayana, Bharata used Fast-unto-Death as a threat, trying to force Lord Rama back from exile. Lord Rama however convinced him otherwise with logic,” Look Bharata, it is only thirteen years. They will go by. It’s just like finishing graduate school + some post doctoral work”.
For so many declarations of Fast unto Death, the statistical record of its practitioners actually achieving the publicly declared end result is abysmally low. And, for a good reason. It is a well established medical fact that once you cross the “unto” part of Fast unto Death, you will not be able to declare a repeat performance. During the entire Indian freedom movement, Jatin Das was the only brave man who went to the Fast end. If his name doesn’t ring a bell, that is because history is written by ones who stay alive. For every principled Swami Nigamanand, there are many others who know how to end their multiple Fasts unto Death just at the right time with a picture of the practitioner appearing on the front page (preferably a national daily) with a blissfully un-aware young girl orange-juicing the practitioner back into the mortal, material and corrupt world. If not that, obituaries are on page five, column two.
Unhappy with Manmohan Singh’s government’s not so Fast response, Fast front is heating up with Anna Hazare and Swami Ramdev. Now, Anna Hazare is from the same general area as Mahatma Gandhi so he probably has a genetic proclivity and experience towards Fasts but Swami Ramdev! Does he really belong in the Fast league? Already, two places of decimal are needed to record his body mask index. Plus, he was teaching Yoga to the likes of Shilpa Shetty, who by herself presents an extremely compelling set of reasons for not quitting one’s day job….all Punjabi intellectuals agree. But to his credit, an undeterred Swami Ramdev declared Fast unto Death and made his stand in Delhi’s Ram-leela grounds. However, when Death did arrive, somewhat prematurely and unexpectedly, donning the uniform of Delhi Police, Swami Ramdev showed how Fast he is on his feet, and escaped by camouflaging his slender form with a feminine garment. Mystery surrounding the make-up used to camouflage Swami Ramdev’s facial hair has piqued the interest of cosmeticians around the world. Armed with a spending budget rivaling that of NASA’s Mars mission budget, multinational cosmetic spooks have launched a secret operation to uncover yogi’s secret. Operation is code named: Hairy Rama, Hairy Krishna. Btw, it is common knowledge that on his Asian collection tour, grim reaper shuns his traditional cloak and scythe for standard local police and military issue.
Are Fasts really effective in this regard? And that question must be answered using scientific inquiry. Fortunately we are in luck here, for there happens to be a large population data available when it comes to selfless Fasts. Indian women have been Fasting regularly for over a millennium for a seemingly unselfish reason: Asking God to prolong the life span of their respective (one hopes!) spouses. And using the data from last census, the probability of a married man outliving his spouse can be calculated at 9.7%. Some of you may react….That is it? Over a millennium of Fast to prolong the married male’s life span and that is it? I say, let’s not be so Fast in rushing to the conclusion here. The result seems to be a statistical anomaly and it must be explained through….you guessed it….scientific inquiry. And I turn my inquiry to the nearest person with intimate knowledge of this matter: my wife. Her explanation starts with standard opening line.
“You are wrong. A millennium of Fasts is the reason why probability has risen to 9.7%. In absence of a Fasting wife, some of you would be dropping by the time last Phera is finished”.
Phera: A ritualistic circuitous route taken to solemnize marriage during Hindu and Sikh marital ceremonies. It is meant as a subtle but ample warning to a very blessed would-be-couple about the nature of marital life, where all arguments, conversations and even the entertainment will make them feel as if they are going around in circles. Warning is issued seven times during Hindu ceremony. Sikhs see no point after fourth.
My tech savvy nephew Wellwired Singh suggests that these Fasts are actually effective but married males are voluntarily choosing to forego the available, Fast-secured longevity benefits. I had a feeling that he was going to expound further on this particular line of perplexing reasoning but he decided to change the subject….coinciding with his wife Harsh Kaur’s entry into the room.
I say we take a cue from an extremely patient effort by fairer sex and try a periodic national Fast on corruption. For simplicity, we call it C-Fast day. I further suggest that date of this day be kept deliberately fluid and be declared very close to the final round of a major cricket tournament, where home team is in the finals, to opportunistically take advantage of nationalistic fervor. This C-Fast day, everyone does things the right way. You get a traffic ticket, you will not bribe. Instead, you will go to the court as the law requires. If you do offer a bribe, the temporarily uncorrupt cop will refuse to take it citing C-Fast day obligations. C-Fast could also turn into day of complements. A C-Fasting Suresh Kalmadi will walk into a meeting and people will say,” wow, Suresh. You look so different. Have you been losing weight (of those undeclared assets)”? And parliament will be at its most efficient on C-Fast day. The after effects of C-Fast however could be hard to take. While some of you might find this Fast outright exhilrating and uplifting, others might want to go back to the greasy ways,” My palm has been itching whole day. I wish someone would grease it today”. I propose that we start this C-Fast annually and increase the frequency based on democratic response. Our goal: 9.7% improvement by year 3000.
All this Fast talk is making me really hungry. As I ask my wife,” So what is cooking today”? She tells me,” Cook yourself. Can’t you see I am fasting for you”?
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